Coming out on the other side

Today is 3 weeks from the day Nate was placed in our ours and said here is your son. It has been a busy 3 weeks. He has been introduced to family, friends, coworkers, neighbors. We have started a daily routine. We have been to the Art Crawl, the Y to swim and several Birthday parties for Abigail's friends. But I have two favorite things: one is seeing my two children playing together. Seeing how much they love each other. I hope this is bond they will always have. My other is when I am giving him a bottle alone. He looks up at me, as if to say "it was always ment to be". Sometimes he will stop drinking, grab my hair, open his mouth and give me a huge kiss on my cheek. Last week was a little difficult, he was sick with a cold and an ear infection. I could tell he was grieving as he cried out looking for comfort from something familiar. But as I held him and sang to him as he cried, he began looking to me. I believe this bonded us. So as he came out of this, we were closer. For me, it made me love him more. Two years ago this month I cried in hotel in TX, devistated when I was told we would not have the little one I thought was my son. But now I realize that my true son was not ready. I was not ready. You can't see a future when you are in pain or you are so certain what is your the picture of your future. We I see my peaceful son I know that God sent me what I prayed for years ago, peace....